Happiness is a fleeting emotion. One moment it is present, the next moment you won’t feel it. By relying on happiness as your proxy for life success you will be attached to a temporary mood that is often outside of your control. Strive to become happiness itself. By exuding happiness you always carry an endless resource of energy with you.
The first and primary relationship you have is with yourself. It is only by understanding and nurturing this relationship that you can open up to other types of relationships such as family bonds, friendships and a romantic partner. You’re chasing happiness by relying on these relationships as a definition of your happiness.
There is value in your connections with other people. Actually, it is worth a lot. You shouldn’t discard the powerful effects of these connections, but you shouldn’t be dependent on them. There is value in attaching yourself to the roles of employee, father or partner, but what remains of you when these roles fade away? You will eventually retire and not be associated with that job. Your child will someday set off on their own to wander the world and travel, study and provide for themselves. Your romantic partner or you will either break up or die first. It is when these roles disappear that you need strong conviction in your own value.