When you only know your partner for a short period or when you breach a new topic is when your partner shows their true colours. Believe them when they tell you something about their character. Listen attentively and ask non-judgemental questions to understand their story. This is not your time yet to show your opinion. The harder you protest, the further away from their true character they will show you as they filter their stories to match your needs.
If they’re not looking for a long-term relationship, and you are, you might think: “Oh, but this time I can make her want a lasting relationship. This is different, this is special.” Reality is that you won’t suddenly make them change their minds. People only change when they are ready, not when they think they should. Only when they realise they can’t live any longer like this is when they will start their transformation. You also shouldn’t want to force someone to change their desires, as this is controlling them. The best thing you can do is lead by example and make them want to change based on experiencing the way you live your life.
The one who is out partying a lot might seem fun to hang around initially, until you become sick of never spending quality time together at nights. You knew what you were getting into, but chose to ignore the signs. They have been showing you their ways, but you didn’t pay enough attention. It is important to first know who you are and what your vision of a relationship is like, before you’re able to check for compatibility.
As time goes on and you invest more in each other, it becomes harder to take the risk of sharing the truth. You don’t want to ruin the positive vibe. Keeping this truth to yourself might initiate a drifting apart of each other and an eventual falling apart of the relationship whenever one discovers that there is an overlooked dealbreaker amidst you. The topic will stay between you, unless it is spoken about open-heartedly and consequently dealt with. You might avoid the topic to keep the peace, but silently revolt. Or you adjust your answer to what your partner wants to hear, instead of displaying your true self. You can only keep up so long with these appearances before one of you realises this behaviour is not sustainable.